What do you think about a person, when you meet him/her for the first time? Whether that person is easy to mingle, good-natured, buddy-buddy, warm-hearted, sensitive, understanding and respectful or is ignorant, unkind, rude, irritable and indecent. It’s not that only introvert people think like that. No matter how outgoing a person is, even he/she needs the assurance about the nature of the person in front of him/her to be himself/herself. Otherwise, no one feels comfortable enough to be his/her natural self.
Human beings are able to sense the character of a person within a few minutes. Sometimes, even the first glance gives the complete impression about the personality of that person. That’s why they say, “First impression is the last impression”!!
Sometimes, someone’s behavior appears to be too refined, even when that person actually lacks that sophistication. This happens when that person acts in an adequate way, just to show the world that he is very sensitive, understanding and caring. However, sometimes this caring behavior can be turned into a creepy one. Creepiness is the feeling, when some actions or talks or sometimes even the presence of that person makes other people uncomfortable. This situation mostly comes with those people, who present themselves in a polished way, when actually they possess an abrasive behavior.
Thus, what if a person is really a good actor and can hide the true nature of his character? What if he confronts you putting his mask on? If that person has a dissociated personality and is able to control the various sides of his character and will show you only the glowing side of the coin. What will you do? How will you flip his rusted side?
It’s not at all a good idea to be friendly with a person whose real face you have never ever seen. Just, think about it! Will you believe a person, who possesses a deceiving nature? Can you ever trust a person, who never ever trusted you enough to be a real person in front of you? This is true that a person behave as per the circumstances. But, what about those situations, when a person tries to hide the real characteristic of his personality just to impress you?
Can you understand the true nature of a person after spending some time with him? No! When you are facing some real life situations only then you can understand the true nature of a person. Or, sometimes you may get some vibes; if you can understand it, you will get the clues. There are many two-faced people who look for the opportunity to trap people for their own good.
Especially, when it comes to an intimate relationship, you should be very sure about that person, whether you actually know that person, or you just think that you know that person. A relationship can be healthy (no matter what kind of relationship it is) only when you understand each other’s thoughts, feelings and needs and you give each other their own space.
Conflicts are inevitable part of life, no one is exactly alike. But, a good relationship is where people know how to deal with the conflicts. At this point of time, being true, honest, honorable, liable, noble, and moral and most importantly being trustworthy should be the key characteristic of a person to maintain a healthy and long-lived relationship either with a friend or a relative or the partner. True nature of a person really matters. If someone is faking about the understanding, he won’t ever be able to solve any issues. He will just keep saying that I understand the criticality of the issue and want to solve it, but will never actually resolve it. When you realize that, is it really a good idea to maintain the relationship or should just call it off?
If you are going through this situation, give it a thought. Slow-down in your relationship and try to understand it in depth, so that you can go ahead if you find it healthy or would be able to gather the courage to come out of it.
How will you understand that a person is faking about his nature? You can get some clues here, just compare them with your situation and re-evaluate your relationship. Be careful when:
- He says that he understands you and keeps on asking about your problems.
- He says that he loves to see you smile, but most of the time he is the reason of the tears in your eyes.
- He says that he wants to see you independent, but whenever you try to take a decision he will enforce his opinion on you or will be offended if you complete any activity without his help
- He will say that he wants you to feel secure whatever you are doing or wherever you are going, but he will be angry if you go anywhere or do anything alone or without his permission.
- He says that he has no problem with giving you your own space, but whenever you will make a plan for yourself and he is not included in that plan, he will be too troubled.
- He will keep irritating you with his phone calls, will pester you with sulky messages and will continuously keep asking about your whereabouts, if someday you leave him and go on with your plan.
- He will say that you have your own life and it’s up to you how you want to live, but if you won’t share a small thing with him, he will start saying “You don’t trust me, that’s why you don’t share things with me”. However, he never shares all the tiny-tiny details of his life with you, but always is interested in bossing around your life.
- In many cases, he doesn’t bother to share even important facts of his life. If, somehow you come to know about those things, the way he will twist and turn the tale that you will tend to believe his part of story to be true.
- If you just want someone to talk when you are having some issues and will talk to him, he won’t listen properly and will start suggesting solutions of your problems, whereas he can’t even solve a small problem of his life on his own.
- He says that he cares for you so much that can never hurt you, but he will often blackmail you either by saying that he will tell your parents about the relationship or will show the pictures of yours or will suicide if you won’t agree to his opinion..
- In order to impress (depress!) you with his so called masculinity, he may go to the extent of cutting of his hand, writing letters in blood, proposing in filmy style (by jumping off the cliff, showing bike stunts), getting drunk or shouting at the midnight in front of your door etc. This shows his childish behavior and you should never fall for it.
- He will emphasize on taking personal photos and videos.
- When you tell him about something you’re really passionate about, he pretends to listen so as to placate you to get some physical favors. Sometimes, he can even force you to succumb to his physical demands.
- He can never tolerate if you are more successful in life than him, as he loves to dominate you.
- He usually says disapproving things about girl and refers you as a magnificent exception. However, if you ever try to leave him he will blame you that you are no different from the other girls and you possess the same universal flaws.
- Mostly, he talks extremely negative things about his ex, at length, without being encouraged. (If he is so quick to disgrace his ex after their breakup, what do you think he’ll do if you two part ways?)
- He has his own kind of opinion and has his own ways to tackle anything. If you tell him that you prefer to go for a different way he will become frustrated and exasperated. He will never even try to understand that you might have your own kind of opinions and situation-handling tacts, just like he has his own.
- He openly stares or flirts with other girls in front of you, even when he knows it makes you uncomfortable.
- He refuses to try many of those activities (dancing, singing, hiking, or any other activity) that you love to do. Sometimes if he drags himself with you, it’s just because he wants to keep an eye on you.
- He keeps prying into your personal accounts (WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype etc.). Wants to know your passwords, spies through your private chats and even posts on behalf of you. Also wants you to publicize your personal affairs more often using the social media via sharing photos, relationship status and status messages.
- He tortures you physically and mentally and later apologizes.
- He fights with every other person either for you (like, if you tell him that someone is bothering you, then without even letting you handle the situation he goes and fight with that person) or because of you (if you are not following his opinion, then just to grab your attention and prove himself right).
- He will project himself as a wretched and helpless person and will say that no one in this world loves him or cares for him (and while he says that he completely ignores the fact that he has a loving family). However, later at many instances he emphasizes that how much his family loves him.
- He will always ask for “Extraaaaaa”!!! Extra time, extra attention, extra love, each and everything extra, that’s what he needs.
- He will ask you for the proof of your love by doing some stupid acts (such as bunking classes, taking leave from office, meet him in the odd hours, to introduce him as your boyfriend to everyone etc.) and not only once, but will keep asking for it.
So girls, just be aware of these creepy chameleons, recognize them and spare yourself the horror!!